(Successful Marriages and Families Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, Hawkins, Dollahite, Draper. Ch. 5, Marital Sexuality and Fertility, Harper & Feinauer)
The physical union and intimacy between husband and wife can
be the tie that unites a couple as one and it can also divide a couple as their
needs and desires are often not in sync. It is helpful for a couple to
understand that marital sexuality serves more purposes than just pleasure and
procreation.
Becoming one. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland described the sexual
union as “a welding…in matrimony…a physical blending (symbolic of a) larger,
more complete union of eternal purpose and promise…a symbol of total union…of
their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future,
their everything.” When a couple comes
together as one, symbolically unifying their purpose in marriage, it can greatly
deepen the marital bond between husband and wife.
Connection with God. Elder Holland described this purpose as
well. “Sexual intimacy is…symbolic of a union between mortals and deity…no
other divine privilege is so routinely given to us all – women or men…than the
miraculous and majestic power of transmitting life, the unspeakable,
unfathomable, unbroken power of procreation.” Certainly, there is nothing that
binds a husband and wife together as powerfully as the creation of offspring and
the joys of becoming a parent.
Strengthening bonds. Intimacy and sexual relations in marriage
are a way of expressing love for your spouse. Spencer W. Kimball taught, “There
is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality itself, for by that means men
and women join…in an expression of love.” As couples desire and learn to please
and satisfy each other, the marriage becomes more satisfying for both.
Precreation: Our first parents, Adam and Eve, were commanded
“to multiply and replenish the earth”. The ability to bear children, is the
bridge between our ancestors and our progenitors. Spencer W. Kimball taught, “The
union of the sexes, husband and wife, is for the principle purpose of bringing
children into the world.”
It is not uncommon for couples to experience challenges in
the marriage when they are not at the same level in terms of desire, arousal or
satisfaction. There is always one partner with a high desire and one partner
with a low desire. It can be very draining on the marriage when there is one
partner that does all the initiating and another partner that does all the
accepting or rejecting of advances. When a couple can work together on their
emotional closeness by talking together and working toward a mutually
acceptable solution, rather than focusing on the needs of one spouse, both the
husband and the wife can strengthen their levels of intimacy, bonding and
sexual satisfaction.
As a couple seeks to have a balance between all of these
divine purposes of intimacy, they will experience more satisfaction in their relationship
with each other.